Pretty girl vs Complex theories

Yesterday, I took off from office early and met someone. She taught me, very important lesson of life. I will try to share her words with you as it is. I am ignoring initial conversation and reason for meeting with her.

She said, “Omer, I don’t know about you much, but I would like to share one important lesson of life. It is my personal experience as well. We live in a society and we need someone around us, no matter how strong we are. Relationship has two kinds, materialistic relationship (which has cause and/or for the time span) and spiritual relationship (which can be for beloved and/or Allah, it does not have time span and cause because this relationship made with spirit). Omer, try to develop spiritual relationships around yourself.”

I was failed to understand her meaning, at that time. And, I was looking reason of sitting in front of her, because she was really pretty girl. Normally, I don’t like to see pretty girls due to some personal theories. But, yesterday, I spend some time with her. Which was unanticipated thing for me then I started thought processing engine and activated surface to air missiles defense system, to figure out, what I am doing and why? And ready to engage any potential enemy threat. While activating red alert, I take notice of her last statement, “Omer, try to develop spiritual relationships around yourself.” I asked her, can you please tell me, what is that mean?

She said, “Omer, try to honest with people and especially with your beloved one. Try to take care of your beloved one and always help with open heart and give freedom to beloved one. No matter, how much strong you are.”

I interrupted her and asked her, “what if my beloved cares about own dreams only and ignore me completely?”

She smiled and said, “Omer, you might declared that, you fall in love, which is not true. You are still looking materialistic values in the relationship. Once you sacrifice your well in front of your beloved one then you will able to do declare yourself fall in love for yourself ONLY. Because, once you start sharing it with others then you will not able to go for higher values of love.”

I shocked and said, “Higher values of love? What is it? I have never heard anything like this ever in my life”

She is already very pretty girl. I have not met any pretty girl ever in my life. With broad smile, she looks gorgeous. She looks sad when she started, “Omer, let me explain you with my experience, might be it help you or not, I don’t know. Few years back, I love someone, he was not much handsome and not rich, but he always lives with personal rules and views of life (under the Islamic Laws as far as I understand). It always attracts me toward him. Initially, I tried to enter his circle first to consider me. After few working, I figured out the way to enter in castle. It has so many directions and halls inside the castle. Now, I have to figure out the way to spend some time with him to know correct direction and hall where I will found him. I have found the only distinctive person (him) in my life. I tried to start taking interest in his personal activities to move toward next level of relationship. At that time, I thought, I am fall in love. Which was not true, and you are also in the same stage. Because, I had my personal views of life, which I did not know at that time which I have to surrender and step in the level of love. I understand this thing, when he gets engaged with someone. Then, I understand philosophy of love or you can say point of love.”

Again, I interrupted her and asked her, “Do you mean, you did not understand him and find direction to the correct hall because you have own views? Come on, how you can say, love starts once you sacrifice your wishes in front of beloved.” (I was a bit ashamed, because it is her personal matter and scared to discuss these matters with her, because she is really pretty girl. I never discussed these kinds of matter with any girl due to some personal views.)

She was too sad, and started with sorrow sound, “Omer, yes, actually I fall in love after his engagement. I sacrificed my wish (to get him) for his good health, care and life. But never stop connection with him to avoid any kind of guild for him. He always helps me, whenever he can and his best at any position/point. Because he is very caring kind of person for the people entered in his castle.”

I said, “So, what are you looking now? Have you got married?”

She said, “I will try to get marry as soon as possible for him. And will never stop connection with him.”

Me, “will get marry for him? What you are saying? Who are you?”

She said, “Yes, Omer. My parents want me to get marry but I was not accepting anyone else, because of him. Now, I am going to get marry as per parent’s wish and for him. Omer, this is the only way, he will not able to know about my love for him, because it will give him so much inner pain, which is not good for his health and life. I will never forget him, and will try to make my happy relational life with my husband, children. Once he knows about my marriage before his marriage than will so much happy and I want to see his happy face once again.”

Me, “Once again? What is that mean?”

She, “I was too sad, and it was visible on my face, when he shared news about his engagement with me. He noticed that and become so much unset and facing so many problems because of me. Now, I have to do something for him and take happiness back in his life and his face”

Me, “Ok… Complex theory! Ooh my God, once again similar to complex milk balancing project. Anyhow, I will try to digest it later … tell me, what is higher values of love?”

She shocked and said, “Milk balancing project?”

Me with broad smile, “Yes, complex project of my life, no body understand its complexity not even client and my company.”

She, “means?”

Me, “my company is not charging to client with respect to complexity and client treating this project as normal project. Anyhow, please tell me, what are high values of love?”

She, “Omer, did you love someone?”

Me, “Please, please, please, tell me, what are high values of love?”

She become normal and give broad smile again. She looks very pretty and I was thinking, “He did very wrong with her.” Suddenly, popup message arrived in my mind with text, “he did not able to feel her love because he has personal rules and views of life, as like me!”

Before she said anything, I asked one more thing, “Did he know, you fall in love?”

She become so much upset and answered me with very aggressive mood, “listen Omer, once you mold yourself like your beloved then you will be at higher values of love.”

Me, “Did he know, you fall in love?”

She replied with aggressive mood, “Omer, you can leave now.”

Me, “Please don’t mind, I was asking to know about his state.”

She replied again with aggressive mood, “Omer, I don’t know, you can leave now.”

This was the second time she was saying to me, “Leave now”. I stand up and leave her alone. I think, I made her too much sad and she doesn’t want to weep in front of me. While going toward car, I deactivated surface to air missile defense system. Enemy did not able to attack on me because my enemy knows, I have surface to air missile defense system to respond back on any kind of attack.

I never thought again about her complex theories of love. Thanks to Allah no body love me like her, otherwise it was really painful. I have to work on complex milk balancing project at office. I can do one complex project at one time.

Respectable reader, I know very well, you don’t like my post. Now, I have to end with prays for her, “Ya Allah! Please give her happy and healthy life for herself and her beloved one. Ameen!”

25 thoughts on “Pretty girl vs Complex theories

  1. Omer.
    i dont know what to say..
    i will reply you in great detail afterwards.
    let me cry at this moment for this blog and for that high valued girl..
    let me salute her.
    let me pray for her.. as after this line i am ready to go for Jumma prayer ..
    she deserves lots of prayers for everyone..
    she has managed to live and love. this is something impossible doing at one place. but she successfully did that..

    i will write a detailed note later on..

    Regards,
    Umer Qureshi.

  2. Omer, one cannot control their emotions in such relationships and she has done very well to control herself. Her reward may not be clearly visible to her at the moment, maybe. But with time, everything will come into place as is meant for both of them. May Allah give both of them peace in their hearts and souls and keep guiding them along the path of salvation and success, so they can reach their final destination, the afterlife….heaven.

    • Thanks Ahmad! She needs help from the people to come out from this situation. I know she can do it, if we try to help her by show presence in comments.

      • I am not feeling sorry for her and I don’t wanna give any opinion or advice (that could be offensive for her🙂 ). If she or anyone is sad then the only thing I can say is “The difference between a person’s wish and ALLAH’s wish is called sorrow/sadness”.
        AND
        Imran Khan says: “After learning from the past, I never looked back”

    • Thanks for comments! I am listening love matters from 8-9 years to help people come-out from this non-realistic phenomena of life. And, I am still driving few people to come-out from it. You can ask one valid question to me, “Why you are doing all this?”

      I was searching Allah around myself but failed to find him. One day, I watched “Zavia”, where I found the way to meet Allah. Allah always loves and stays with people those who love with his beloved (his creation). Whenever someone visits me, he/she shares everything which they wants and then I give advice to him/her according to the his/her situation. I always try to take his/her back in life. When I do with Alllah’s beloved then Allah will stay with me and love me most.

      I will try to introduce her in later stage or some other blog. Inshah-Allah! Please give me some time, and then everyone will know about her.

      • If schools for girls no lore impart on creed, then lore and crafts for Love are indeed death.

  3. I would like to say a very nice attempt Omer! keep it up. Life is not that much complex but we made it more complexer for ourself. Best wishes. May Allah keep every one happy, healthy and wealthy. Ameen.

    تمہاری اس پوسٹ کے بعد مجھے ڈرامہ ” میرے من چلے کا سودا ” دیکھنا پڑے گا

      • عمر بھائی !
        اصل بات اور حقیقت یہ ہے ،جب ہم کسی دوسرے بندے کی جگہ نہیں لے سکتے تو پھر کیسے کسی کے احساسات کو بیان یا ان پر روشنی ڈال سکتے ہیں – ہر انسان کے احساسات دوسرے سے مختلف ہوتے ہیں – اس میں اس طرح سے روشنی ڈالنا چاہوں گا کہ جیسے ہماری آنکھیں ایک خاص حد تک دیکھ سکتی ہیں اور بلکل اسی طرح ہمارا ذہن بھی ایک خاص حد تک سوچ سکتا ہے اس سے آگے نہیں – جب ھماری سوچ کے بھی ایک حد ہے تو کیسے ہم کسی دوسرے انسان کے احساسات کو جان اور بیان کرسکتے ہیں –

        ہاں اپنے تائیں جائز اظہار میں کوئی قباحت نہیں بلکل دستک دینے کی سنت کی طرح کہ اگر تین بار دروازہ کھٹکھٹانے پر کوئی جواب نہ ملے تو بغیر برا مانے لوٹ جانے کا حکم ہے –

        اس پوسٹ میں بہت ساری خوبصورت باتیں اور تنقید کے پہلو ہیں – جس پر میں مزید کچھ کہنا نہیں چاہتا بس اتنا کہوں گا

        تھی نہ اپنے گناہوں کی ہم کو خبر
        دیکھتے رہے آوروں کے عیب و ہنر
        پڑی جونہی گناہوں پہ اپنی نظر
        تو جہاں بھر میں کوئی برا رہا

    • Thanks Faisal for the second reply. I love you most because you always give me different direction/views as compare to others. You always give answers from your inner side but with some push. I will try to address that matter on later post, Inshah-Allah!

      Thanks again for the great response according to expectation.

      • عمر بھائی

        ایک تو تیری اس ایس ایم ایس سروس نے تنگ کر کے رکھ دیا ہے – بہت اچھا لکھا ہے پھر ہمیں کیوں درمیاں میں بار بار گھسیٹ لیتا ہے – اس سے بہتر ہے کہ جیو پر پٹی چلوا دو ” عمر نصیر کا بلگ پڑھیں اور اپنے نیک خیالات سے آگاہ کریں ورنہ بندوق کی نلی اور آپ کا سر ڈھشکم ڈھشکم – ہن خوش ہیں – ناتے کج ھور سنے گا ………

        آہو !

        مجھے بیان کردا ا تین بار دستک دینے کی سنت میں زندگی کی بہت ہی خوبصورت حقیقتیں چھپی ملی – وہ یہ کہ اول ہم دستک نہیں دیتے (اس صورت میں کون کیسے جان سکتا ہے کہ کوئی آپ سے محبت کرتا ہے )- دوئم ہم انکار کی صورت میں منہ بنا لیتے ہیں – یعنی ہم آزادی کا تصور صرف اپنی ذات تک محدود رکھتے ہیں ، یہی غلط ہے – زندگی بہت خوبصورت ہے اگر کوئی اس حدیث پر عمل کر لے ” مومن اپنے بھائی کے لے وہی پسند کرتا ہے جو اپنے لے کرتا ہے ” پس اسی طرح جو چیز تیرے لے بری ہے وہ دوسرے کے لے بھی بری ہو سکتی ہے – بات بہت دور نکل جاۓ گی –

        باقی سر آپ کی اس پوسٹ میں سب سے خوبصورت بات جو کہ اصل اور اینڈ رزلٹ یا پھر مسلہ کا حل اور حاصل وصول کہہ لیں وہ یہ کہ ” وہ اپنے محبوب کی خوشی کی خاطر شادی کرے گی اور بھر پور لائف ثابت کر کے اپنے محبوب کو خوشی کا سامان میسر کرے گی ” –

        محبت کسی کو پا لینے کا نام نہیں یہ وہ جذبہ ہے جو اپنے اندر صرف اور صرف محبوب کو ہر حال میں خوش دیکھنا چاہتا ہے – محبت میں سب سے اہم ” احساس تعلق ” ہے بس وہ کسی صورت میں نہیں چھوٹنا چاہے

        اپنی بات میں حضرت بیدم شاہ وارثی رحمتہ الله علیہ کے اشعار پر ختم کرتا ہوں

        اک عمر کا ساتھی چھوٹا ہے مدت کا سہارا ٹوٹا ہے
        دل ٹھہرتے ٹھہرتے ٹھرے گا صبر آتے آتے آے گا

        لو دیکھ چکے بس جاؤ تم بیمار کی نبضیں چھوٹ گئیں
        اب حال جو ہونے والا ہے وہ تم سے نہ دیکھا جاۓ گا

        بے کار یہ رونا دھونا ہے اب رونے سے کیا ہونا ہے
        جو ہونے کو تھا ہو ہی چکا ہو ہونا ہے ہو جاۓ گا

        سن کر شب غم کا افسانہ وہ چاہتے ہیں کچھ فرمانا
        ان کی سنے گا دیوانے یا ا اپنی ہی کہتا جاۓ گا

        بیدم نہ یہ راز حقیقت ہے بیدم نہ وہ اصل حقیقت ہے
        جو تیری سمجھ میں آیا ہے جو تیری سمجھ میں آے گا

  4. Omer, nice article. A person who had experienced this situation can understand but not people/person like me. In my point of view, it’s like both opponents in chess game don’t like to scarify their pawns and elites to win the game but prefer to draw the game.

    I say to you Omer, go for it.😉

    • Thanks for comments! I just want to say one thing for you. You are one of the loving person I have ever met. Thanks again and Love You! I will do chat/skype call later.

  5. well, I’ll try to be brief. I have heard from many people, and seen 2 cases in my family, where the guy and a girl are ready to die for each other before marriage, but once they have started living together, after a year or 2 they hate each other and dont want to see the other’s face. I mean this should be kept in mind cuz this girl has not lived with the guy she liked and there is very little to guarantee that the life would have been heaven-like once they were together. Since we know this, its not rational to grieve beyond a certain level in this case. Grieving for a person who was a part of your life and kept the relationship excellent, is actually justified, cuz you had it, you knew it was the best thing you had, and then you loose it, and then grieving for it makes sense. In this case, he was not a part of her life.

    The other thing is, there is no one person who is perfect, there are many good people in this world, if you dont get your hands on any particular one, you’ll find another if you look and wait for it.

    Religious wise, grieving for a person like this who is na-mehram is not appropriate, these feelings mostly stem subconsciously from the the fictional world that has been so much forced into our thoughts, and i mean the modern love themed movies from that. Trying to love someone in your thoughts like this, while married to another person will not allow you to give your love to the one who you are married to, which in itself is a gunnah.

    Another religious point is that this world that we live in is very very temporary world, in quran Allah tala has said “yay dunia ki zindagi dhokay kay siwa kuch nahi”, at another place its mention “yay dunia ki zindagi siway khayl aur tamashay kay aur kuch nahi”, plz refer to this lecture for its explanation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoqfU6ZARGM. So well its just not worth to waste this brief life on these matters, one should understand the bigger picture, we are here for a purpose and we should focus on that.

    • Ab bhai, Thanks for wiser comments.

      We should not have thoughts at extreme points. It is true and practical fact, someone can love someone before get married because it is natural instant of human been. I have already categorized love relationship in two parts in this post. Love is a valid feeling according to Islam and logic if and if a person fall in spiritual love only. We can mould ourself through knowledge and training to behave ideal way of life. It does not mean we can implement 100% rules in our life. Again, we are human. I have published some other post for way to avoid abnormal situations in life.

  6. A man weeps not from a grief or pains,
    No dust ever falls, on his heart from.strain.
    If he ever weeps you take it in this sense,
    His weeping is a part of love pangs trance.

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