Life partner election

Yesterday, I was seating in the garden and drawing line for every important era of life. Life partner is very essential and important phase of life. Because, one phase of the life will be end and one phase of the life will start. I read many stuff regarding love and selection of life partner across the board.

I used election word purposefully, that means, never rally on love, life has to move forward with happiness, health and blessed. Because, you might be serious in love and honest with your beloved, and might be, other side not have same understanding.

I have concluded following premarital points must known to both and give marks based on your own intellectual understanding,

Premarital Exam – 80 Questions – 5 marks each – 2 minutes for each question

  1. What is your concept of marriage?
  2. What are you expectations of marriage?
  3. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
  4. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
  5. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
  6. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
  7. What is the role of religion in your life now?
  8. Are you a spiritual person?
  9. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
  10. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
  11. What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
  12. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
  13. What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
  14. What is the role of the husband?
  15. What is the role of the wife?
  16. What is your relationship with your family?
  17. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
  18. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
  19. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
  20. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
  21. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
  22. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
  23. How did you get to know them?
  24. Why are they your friends?
  25. What do you like most about them?
  26. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
  27. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
  28. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
  29. What are the things that you do in your free time?
  30. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
  31. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
  32. Do you travel?
  33. How do you spend your vacations?
  34. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
  35. Do you read?
  36. What do you read?
  37. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
  38. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
  39. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
  40. If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
  41. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
  42. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
  43. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
  44. Do your friends use foul language?
  45. Does your family use foul language?
  46. How do you express anger?
  47. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
  48. What do you do when you are angry?
  49. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
  50. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
  51. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
  52. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
  53. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
  54. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
  55. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
  56. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
  57. How do you support your own health and nutrition?
  58. What is your definition of wealth?
  59. How do you spend money?
  60. How do you save money?
  61. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
  62. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
  63. Do you use credit cards?
  64. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
  65. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
  66. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
  67. Do you support the idea of a working wife?
  68. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
  69. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
  70. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
  71. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
  72. What is the best method(s) of raising children?
  73. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
  74. How were you raised?
  75. How were you disciplined?
  76. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
  77. Do you believe in public school for your children?
  78. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
  79. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
  80. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?

Special thanks to SunniPath site for premarital points. Some other essential points you can find on SunniPath site if you consider. These points are very comprehensive for life partner selection and better understanding. Both person should appear in Premarital Exam, and share answers with others then make your plan for marriage.

“Be with those who help your being.”
~Rumi

One thought on “Life partner election

  1. Pingback: Mental, Verbal and Emotional Abuse | Knowledge Sea

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