Mental, Verbal and Emotional Abuse

This post written in the help to understand the Premarital Question,

51. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.

Mental and Emotional Abuse

Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Such abuse is often associated with situations of power imbalance, such as abusive relationships, bullying, child abuse and abuse in the workplace. There were “no consensus views about the definition of emotional abuse.” As such, clinicians and researchers have offered sometimes divergent definitions of emotional abuse.

However, the widely used Conflict Tactics Scale measures roughly twenty distinct acts of “psychological aggression” in three different categories:
1. Verbal aggression (e.g., saying something that upsets or annoys someone else);
2. Dominant behaviors (e.g., preventing someone to have contact with their family);
3. Jealous behaviors (e.g., accusing a partner of maintaining other parallel relations).
Source: Wikipedia

Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse (also known as reviling) is described as a negative defining statement told to the person or about the person or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existent. If the abuser doesn’t immediately apologize and indulge in a defining statement, the relationship may be a verbally abusive one.

In schools a young person may indulge in verbal abuse — bullying (which often has a physical component) to gain status as superior to the person targeted and to bond with others against the target. Generally the bully knows no other way to connect emotionally, i.e., be bonded with others.
In couple relationships the verbal abuser responds to the partner’s “separateness,” i.e., independent thoughts, views, desires, feelings, expressions (even of happiness) as an irritant or even an attack. While some people believe the abuser has low self-esteem and so attempts to place their victim in a similar position, i.e., to believe negative things about himself or herself this is not usually the case in couple relationships. A man may, for example, disparage a woman partner simply because she has qualities that were disparaged in him, i.e., emotional intelligence, warmth, receptivity and so forth.

A person of any gender, race, culture, sexual orientation, age, or size may experience verbal abuse. Typically, in couple or family relationships verbal abuse increases in intensity and frequency over time. After exposure to verbal abuse, victims may fall into clinical depression and/or post-traumatic stress disorder. The person targeted by verbal abuse over time may succumb to any stress related illness. Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish in its target.

Despite being the most common form of abuse, verbal abuse is generally not taken as seriously as other types, because there is no visible proof and the abuser may have a “perfect” persona around others. In reality, however, verbal abuse can be more detrimental to a person’s health than physical abuse. If a person is verbally abused from childhood on, he or she may develop psychological disorders that plague them into and through adulthood.

Source : Wikipedia

Today, I have attended one of the interesting event with the name of “Ethics of Disagreement” by Maulvi Jehangir Mehmud. Speaker concluded that event very beautifully, that I would like to share with you in my words,

Islam is the only religion in the world, that provide protection, happiness, health and bless to mankind and society. But, Our attitude make difference and violence between mankind and society. We need to correct our attitude and behavior directions towards life and relationships, to enjoy the true spirit of Islam.

Today, I am going to end my post with one of my spiritual beloved (Hazrat Khawaja Mu’inuddin Chishti) quotation,

A friend of God must have affection like the Sun. When the sun rises, it is beneficial to all irrespective of whether they are Muslim, Christian, or Hindu.

When one comes on the path of love of the Friend, he becomes nonexistent (loses himself).

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